102 Ways To Annoy Severus Snape!

You know what to do... if you're awesome. So I'll start.

Number One: Insist to people that they must bow in his presence.

Number two: Put on an invisibility cloak, when he sits down in class start to stroke him like a cat.

Number Free: Hum the Bridal March whenever he walks down an aisle

Number four: throw things at him, pink lacey things...

Number Hive: Transfigure his clothes into lacy pink lingerie. Make them unchangable, unremovable and uncoverable. ^_^

Number six: Insist on reading him his horoscope every morning at breakfast. Loudly, so everyone in the Great Hall can hear it.

Number Seven: Go into his room, at night, and watch him sleep, get caught, say that you're a ghost.

Number Ate: Tell him you put up a pole in his classroom for 'you-know-what'. Wriggle your eyebrows suggestively.

Number NINE: Start calling him Mr Snape, just for the hell of it.

Number TEN: Immitate his voice. Say "Detention, Mr Potter," when he isn't looking. Look away and whistle when he turns back.

Number Elle-Evan: Sneak up behind him. Go 'Boo!' and giggle. Walk away mumbling that you 'got him good'.

Number TWELVE: Mimick him. Constantly.

Number Thirteen: Marry him. Secretly.

Number For ten?: Have his child. Secretly.

Number Fifteen: On valintines day send him a giant teddy bear, holding a love heart that says "I love you". (Make sure he reads who's it's from)

Number Sextan: Make him watch Titanic with you. Cry, and wipe your tears and runny nose on his robes.

Number Seventeen: Make him watch a lesbian porno, with you. Giggle constantly.

Number Ate-teen: Make him watch a gay porno, with you. Giggle constantly and get a nose bleed; wipe it on his robes.

Number Nineteen: Make him eat your cooking ^_^, make him guess what it is.

Number TwenT: Make him cook for you. Stand behind him the whole time, adding in ingrediants here and there just as he is about to add something different. (Soup works best- if he is about to put it peas, put in carrots or broccoli so he can't put in his ingrediant. Stop when he glares, continue when he searches his private stores for posion).

Number Twenny-un: Make him a cake. Replace the sugar with salt, the baking powder with baking soda, and the flour with milk-powder. Make him try the cake first.

The Real Number Twenny-To: Give him your momma's soup surprise... Here's the song if you don't know it.

Momma's Soup Surprise

When I was a little kid, see,
I never liked to eat
Now momma'd put things on my plate and I'd dump 'em on her feet
But then one day she made this soup, I ate it all in bed
I asked her what she put in it, and this is what she said

Chicken lips and lizard hips and alligator eyes
Monkey legs and buzzard eggs and salamander thighs
Well rabbit ears and camel rears and tasty toe nail pies
Stir 'em all together and it's momma's soup surprise

Well now I went into the bathroom and I stood beside the sink
I said, I'm feelin' slightly ill and I think I'd like a drink
Momma said, I've just the thing, I'll get it in a wink
It's full of lots of protein ... and vitamins, I think

It was....
Chicken lips and lizard hips and alligator eyes
Monkey legs and buzzard eggs and salamander thighs
Well rabbit ears and camel rears and tasty toe nail pies
Stir 'em all together and it's momma's soup surprise

Number Twenty-free: If he doesn't like it, dump the bowl on his head.

Number Twenty-for: Claim that he is your squishy, and he shall be yours, and you shall call him squishy. Call him this in class.

Number Twenty-hive: During class, constantly add bits and pieces to other people's potions. Claim that it was the magical pixie-elves.